I’m Speechless (Actually, I’m Not)

Here’s what Mets manager Willie Randolph said after last night’s 6-3 loss to the Braves where the Mets managed only 2 hits and all 3 runs were scored thanks to Braves pitcher Jar-Jar Binks walk fest/meltdown:

“I don’t think it’s a slump at all.”

If this isn’t a slump, then WTF is it Willie? Your entire team is not hitting.

Stop with the politician-speak and talk to the media/fans with some honesty for once. Your job is about to be on the line!

Or is this what you really think? I really don’t know anymore.

What I do know is that you are completely clueless when it comes to managing a game.

Your bench was 1 man short because Brady Clark was DFA’d and replaced with Gustavo Molina, while Brian Schneider recuperates from his mysterious infection. So please explain to me why you had Damian Easley pinch hit for Marlon Anderson in the 7th?

Anderson was playing 1B for Carlos Delgado, who you gave the night off because he needs to clear his head from his season long slump that you wouldn’t possibly admit to either.

Then in the 9th, you had no other choice but to pinch hit Delgado because the pitchers spot came up and you were out of bench players, aside from the emergency catcher (Molina). So of course, Delgado strikes out to a chorus of boos.

Did that clear Delgado’s head? Did it?

Know what else Willie?

Do you remember that inning where Jar Jar Binks was issuing all those walks? “Your guys” were the beneficiary of a ridiculous strike zone and Bobby Cox let the umpires know how much he was displeased with their screw ups.

This is called showing fire and is also a good way to show “your guys” that you’ve got their back. I hope you took notes when Cox got thrown out of the game, because you never ever show any of this fire of which I speak.

Did you notice how Jar Jar Binks settled down after that and shut “your guys” down for the rest of the night? Did you?

That is called showing faith in your starting pitcher and this serves two purposes. On one hand, it can build your starter’s confidence in his own abilities. Secondly, it nullifies the need to call a guy in from the bullpen.

I know you really love walking to the mound and raising your right or left arm and tapping that arm with your other hand, but these tips I am giving you might actually save your job.

You should write them down, or just print this page on your web browser.

If you would like to speak to me further about the finer points of being a manager, I will be at Shea today in Mezzanine Section 13. Come on up and we’ll have a chat.


2 Responses

  1. I completely agree with the “showing fire” thing — my son and I made predictions before the season began regarding how many times Willie would actually come out of the dugout to argue. I don’t think he’s going to reach either of our totals.

    On Friday, there was a play at first base that was a very close call — the ump probably did have it right, but I really wanted Willie to come out and argue anyway. Just to SHOW THAT HE CARED. I think it would have shocked not only the fans, but also his team if he came running out on the field. I’m sure they don’t ever expect to see their manager out there fighting for them.


  2. Hi Corey — Coop was telling me about how great your site is the other night at the game…. and I have to agree! I like your perspective very much! Looking forward to reading more….

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